CREEKERS
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

________________________________


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes.'

So, I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

________________________________


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

_______________________________


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

________________________________


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again,
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a
limp.

______________________________


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

________________________________



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......

______________________________


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office . She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

________________________________


My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started....
If you dont stand behind our troops,Please feel free to stand in front of them
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screamin seamen
some funny right there
Budget bogger
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Northstar
X2. To much time?
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er0ck33
hahahaha
Washed up!
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DirtySouth
Drive your dam four wheeler through the middle of my camp .Good way to start a fight,
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screamin seamen
Ill bring the barb wire
Budget bogger
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ON TIME
DirtySouth wrote:
Drive your dam four wheeler through the middle of my camp .Good way to start a fight,


 candy ass !  Shut the f#ck up
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chevmudder
ON TIME wrote:
DirtySouth wrote:
Drive your dam four wheeler through the middle of my camp .Good way to start a fight,


 candy ass !  Shut the f#ck up
This is going to be good  [rofl]
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BossLady720
ON TIME wrote:
DirtySouth wrote:
Drive your dam four wheeler through the middle of my camp .Good way to start a fight,


 candy ass !  Shut the f#ck up


That's a good way to start a web fight. Such a tough guy [cool]
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Axlesnapin
man dirtysouth your lucky you have your own idle.[frown]
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KaitlynH
Wow, this on time guy dosnt understand the jokes cause he hasnt had a girlfriend since highschool.

And thats how you start a fight...
Instagram - KuntryKaitlyn
Facebook - /kaitlynhemphill
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DirtySouth
yea he's a bad man behind the keyboard.
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Axlesnapin
.
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