Corporal Punishment
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Trailridin'
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. '

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota.. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'
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shrek
Trailridin' wrote:
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. '

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota.. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'
awesome
F T W
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Corporal Punishment
what do you call three rabbits in a row hopping backwards simultaneosly.......

A receding hareline.........
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thumper
why did god give women yeast infections?

so they would know what it was like to live with nasty cunt.
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PMonroe86

If birds that live by the sea are called Seagulls...what are birds that live by the Bay called ?? Bagels

Originally Posted by pun young
theres only one person that has to like my truck and thats me
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crispypiston
What do ya call a nigga on water skies? Top water jig
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Barnyard Pimp

What do you call a nigga scuba diving?  A deep water jig

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cleotustmudder
what do you call a guy with no arms or legs at the front door?? Matt! same guy in a pool?? Bob same guy hanging on a wall?? Art!



check out my blog at http://cleotus.blogspot.com/
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cleotustmudder
what do you call a dog with no legs? doesn't matter, hes not going to come anyways!!

check out my blog at http://cleotus.blogspot.com/
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khlewis05

what do you call an ethiopian with buck teeth? a rake

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shrek

F T W
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royboy06

what is the difference between a dead nigger in the road and a dead rabbit in the road?        there are skid marks before the rabbit.

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Barnyard Pimp

Whats worse than two hundred ethiopians building a bridge in the middle of a desert?  Two niggers trying to fish off of it.

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CREEKERS

what do you call a ethiopian with a yeast infection           a quarter pounder with cheese 

If you dont stand behind our troops,Please feel free to stand in front of them
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Big_Orange_Yota

what would martin luther king jr be if he was white..........alive

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Big_Orange_Yota
if the whole world was a jacket where would all the black ppl live...........in the hood
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Big_Orange_Yota
why do white ppl go to black ppls garage sales..........to get there stuff back
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Hideck
What's the fastest animal on the planet? An Ethiopian chicken 

There's 2 muffins in an oven. The oven turns on. The first muffin says, "Man we gotta get outta here". The second muffin looks over and says "HOLY $HIT, a talking muffin"!
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Barnyard Pimp

What do you call an ethiopian with five dogs? A herder

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slowJEEP
What'd the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite.
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